[[ First posted to alt.good.morning, 8 May 1997 ]]
[[ See http://www.google.co.uk/groups?selm=5kt7ib%2463s%40linux2.cms.shu.ac.uk ]]


Hiya :)

We've had a theory at work about pens, and what happens to all of those that
go missing. It's been suggested that they turn into coat hangers. (Have you
noticed that you often end up coming home from somewhere with more coathangers
than you originally had?).

However, at times you can't find a coat hanger, therefore it has been
suggested that they turn into pens, ie - the process is reversable. However
there are instances when you can't find either. My own theory on this is
that they turn into a primitive stone life form with the ability to teleport.

But first...

Let probability of finding a pen be Ppf
Let probability of finding a working pen be Ppw
Let probability of wanting a pen be Ppn

It can be said that Ppf is inversly proportional to Ppn

However Ppw has to be less than Ppf. How many times have you found a pen and
found out it dosen't work?! :)

So now Ppw < Ppf

Therefore Ppw is also inversly proportional to Ppn

It can now be said that if Ppn = 0, then Ppw = 1

Now, let probability of finding a coathanger be Pcf
and let probability of wanting a coathanger be Pcn

Pcn is inversely proportional to Ppn

Now at the moment when Ppn = 1, Ppw = 0 therefore Pcf = 1. However if you
go and look for a coathanger then, Ppc = 1, so therefore Ppn = 0, Ppw = 1 and
Pcf = 0.

Therefore to find a working pen, look for a coat hanger. But you mustn't want
to be looking for a pen. You *have* to come across the pen as a result of
looking for a coathanger. If you pretend to look for a coathanger when
looking for a pen, then Ppw = 0.

However, if Pcn = Ppn = 1, then the above theorys fail, but Ppw = 0 and also
Pcf = 0.

In this instance, the coathangers and pens turn into those little tiny
stones that get into your shoe. (Have you noticed that there's an almost
infinate number of them?).

The stones that get into your shoe are a primitive life form. They have the
ability to teleport (how else can they get into your shoe? You'd feel it go
in down the side where you put your foot in wouldn't you). They also have
the ability to magnify their size by 10fold, and can morph into a shape
that has sharper sides than what actually comes out of the show once you
get round to taking it out.

Comments are appreciaited :-)

*hugs*

Chris...